I am addicted to the desire to succeed so that I can rub it in the faces of those who have doubted me. I know that this is a false reason for wanting success based in ego. I must remind mindful of this desire, and actively combat this state of mind. It is deadly. Spite has propelled me in the past to improve my lot, however, it is not a sustainable model since it requires deep resentment to thrive. In the end, resentment cuts me off from those around me and society at large, and will diminish my life.